Why I’m Choosing Identity Over Goals This Year

There are seasons of life when pushing harder feels like the obvious answer. When everything is changing, when responsibility is high, and when people are depending on you, it’s easy to default to tension, control, and constant forward motion.

But lately, I’ve been in a different kind of season, one that’s asking for something softer.

After a major move, a new job, and a full family transition, I noticed the temptation to rush into “get it all done” mode. To define the year immediately. To prove I was handling it all. Instead, I found myself asking a different question:

What do I want this season to feel like? That question changed everything.

Softness Is Not Weakness

One of the words that surfaced for me this year was softness, and I’ll be honest, I didn’t like it at first. My immediate reaction was resistance. Soft sounded like letting go of strength, discipline, or ambition.

But when I sat with it longer, I realized softness isn’t about being passive or complacent. It’s about releasing unnecessary tension. It’s unclenching your jaw. Letting your shoulders drop. Breathing fully instead of bracing for impact.

Softness, for me, means moving through the same responsibilities with less force. Doing the work without constantly activating my nervous system. Leading without white-knuckling every moment.

And that shift matters, not just for our bodies, but for how we show up for the people we lead and love.

Letting Yourself Settle

The second word that emerged for me was settled.

Settled doesn’t mean stagnant. It doesn’t mean giving up ambition or growth. It means allowing yourself to land where your feet are. Being present instead of constantly scanning for what’s next.

For the first time in a long time, I’m allowing myself to build roots. To invest in relationships. To acknowledge the part of my heart that is genuinely content, without immediately searching for what might go wrong. Settling is an act of trust.

Identity Before Outcomes

This is why I choose identity statements over traditional goals.

Goals focus on what you want to achieve. Identity focuses on who you are becoming.

When your choices are anchored to identity, to the woman you’re growing into, alignment becomes clearer. Decisions carry deeper meaning. Consistency becomes more sustainable.

You’re not just chasing an outcome. You’re casting votes for the person you want to be.

An Invitation to Reflect

If you’re in a season of transition, or simply craving more meaning, ease, or alignment, I invite you to pause and ask yourself:

What do I need right now?
How do I want this season to feel?
Who am I becoming?

You don’t have to rush. You don’t have to get it perfect. You’re allowed to arrive, slowly, intentionally, and with heart.

And that, too, is a powerful form of leadership.

RESOURCES:

Identity Statement Resource:

https://fabulous-pioneer-9504.kit.com/de6f72ebb6

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SHOW NOTES: https://www.christinamattisonyoga.com/blog/episode88